Our Parental Influences in Fitness and Body Image

As a kid I watched my dad work out in front of the T.V., my mom has always been super annoyed by that, and I could see why. You would be trying to hear what Carl Sagan was talking about but mostly all you heard was grunting and counting reps.

My mom was never what I would consider physically active in that sense. However, she could bust through chores like yard work or keeping up with 5 kids, as if it was nothing. She was never the type to go to the gym and work on her deltoids, and she never will be.

Most of my brothers and sisters were never involved with organized sports when we were younger, but we did all play together, randomly staying active. My dad encouraged me to run, but I sort of hated it (still do). I only ran to build some kind of bond with him after I no longer was the “baby”. It worked for a minute but like I said I REALLY hate running.

Later in life, my brothers got involved with more physical activities but my mom and my sisters never did. I worry about that, because I wonder if as females, we tend to have a certain way of thinking about fitness that needs to be changed.

Everyone has body image issues and it’s so prevalent in society that it may be impossible for me to see it go away in my lifetime.

Parents have an opportunity to change our own way of thinking and eliminate the horrible body image issues that get perpetuated in society every second of everyday. The first step to changing the negative mental issues we have about our bodies is to recognize what and how we say things to others (i.e. “Does this make me look fat?”, “I’m too fat to…”, or “Holy Shit, she should not be wearing that!”)

When you actually listen to the shit that comes out of other people and quite often your own mouths, you get a sense that every body type is not good enough. People strive for the perfect body to incase them whilst they sit in front of their electronic devices and judge other peoples bodies. We have all said something horrible about our own or somebody else’s body at one point or another in our lifetimes. The minute we recognize the negative verbal abuse we use, we can change it. It is a VERY hard process but it’s one that needs to happen.

So, why do we as a general public “fat shame”, “thin shame” and believe it or not, “fit shame”? Well, it has been happening for a very long time. For generations mothers have said something to their own daughters that they may regret. My grandmother told my mother that she was fat if her waist was not as small as her own (and I’m pretty sure she gave her unrealistic and unhealthy goals). So, of course my mother despised her own body and was constantly on some diet or another, she even spoke ill of other women her size knowing full well what it felt like for her. When I became more fit she said that she couldn’t believe how tiny and beautiful I had become (which to her sounded like a compliment), but to me sounded like I was small and fragile, when in all actuality I felt like a hard badass with a shit ton of confidence. Except for that one thing I still feel self-conscious about…my after baby belly. And so the body image issues will keep coming, my daughter recognizes my body issues and will probably develop her own one day, because when she grabs my extra skin she sees the full effect it has on my psyche even if I try to play it off like it’s cool.

Men suffer as well, men are always being berated in locker rooms by their peers, expected to be born athletes, or judged by their appetite and diet. ‘Hungry Man’ frozen dinners are a prime example of how men are “supposed to eat”. Personalities and even sexual orientation of a man are told by his portion sizes and choice of protein in this society, I find that extremely disturbing. Men take that out on women by judging their appetite capabilities, I’m sure you’ve heard some man at some point say something about if a woman can take down a whole steak dinner then she’s the girl for him. Dude, she’s not magic and if she keeps hearing you brag about it she’s going to keep eating portions that her body did not intend to use or need just to keep you impressed with her, then you’ll be bitching about how fat her ass got later. But I digress, Hey guys eat whatever the hell you want to eat and however much of it you need, I won’t judge you and NO women has ever said “oh, I don’t think he’s manly enough for me, he didn’t even swallow that steak whole”.

So somebody at some point in our lives made us feel weird about our bodies and we for some reason deem it necessary to pass the torch, by making someone else feel bad about their body, even if we didn’t mean to.

Re think what is a compliment, choose not to insult even if they can’t hear you, do unto others as you would have done to you.

Eat Smart, Play Hard, and Be Kind…those are the keys to changing your own body image and hopefully someone else’s.

Thanks for reading!

Marijayne Renny AKA Kraken Whips